Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel are a lesbian couple living in California with their two sons. Maybe. The couple’s youngest child is an 11-year-old boy named Thomas, but Thomas doesn’t want to be a boy. Thomas wants to be a girl. So the Moreno-Lobel’s did what any normal parent would do – they began giving Thomas hormone treatments to delay the onset of puberty until he is old enough to fully “transition” into a female through surgery, if he so chooses. In the meantime, Thomas lives as Tammy, and prefers it that way.
The couple says their son (who has developmental issues with speech and communication) began telling them he was a girl at age 3, and started mutilating his genitals at 7. Being aware of the 50% suicide rate among “transgender” youth, the women believe that helping Thomas become a girl earlier might spare him the pain of dealing with the choice as an adult. Says Moreno, “What is so frightening to me is that you would be willing to say “no” just because you don’t like it – even though your child could lose their life?”.
The couple says they will continue to give Thomas his hormone blockers to delay puberty until he is old enough to decide (14-15, in their opinion) if he wants to continue life as a boy. Doctors warn that there could be severe long term medical issues from giving a growing child such new and controversial drug therapies, and compare it to allowing an undeveloped child to undergo cosmetic surgery. Read more about Thomas and his mothers here and here.
As a mother I find the whole thing disgusting and disturbing. The couple has had Thomas in “transgender therapy” and their entire community in the San Francisco (of course) area has been supportive. With absolutely no one in his life to help him even consider that this might be a mental illness Thomas has no alternative but accept that he wants to be a girl. Do these mothers realize that children are physically incapable of making informed decisions for themselves? Research shows that the area of the brain that controls impulse and reasoning abilities is not fully developed until at least the age of 25. That is why you can’t rent a car in this country by yourself if you are under 25. Even rental companies understand that you don’t let small children make big decisions. The Moreno-Lobel family may very well be condemning their son to the suicidal feelings they are trying to avoid. It is not far-fetched to believe that he may come to the realization as an adult that he, indeed, is a man. By then it may be too late and one can only imagine the torment of that life.
Another thing to consider is that the very nature of their family could be what is causing Thomas his problems in the first place. While not always the case, delay in speech development in children often indicates trauma at home. Could it be that Thomas is not fully comfortable with having two mothers and no father? What do the women tell Thomas about men and women? Does their anger toward male sexuality come across on a daily basis to their young son? Perhaps Thomas sees his two mothers as the most important people in the world to him and naturally wants to be like them, not different from them. Psychiatrist and Fox News Contributor Keith Ablow says,
Obviously, when two females adopt a male child, then assert that the child is not actually male, but is, instead, actually a female — like both of them. Everyone in the family should be psychologically evaluated in a comprehensive way before a step like gender reassignment is considered.
The whole idea of gender reassignment is an aberration. It is nothing more than a form of mutilation. One cannot change creation. You cannot change what you were created to be. Proof? If Chastity (Chaz) Bono commits a murder and DNA is found at the scene, it will come back belonging to a woman. You can cut off your breast or your penis and stop hair from growing on your face, but you can’t change your DNA. You can’t!
My mother’s heart grieves for Thomas. He needs someone to step in and stand up for him; to tell his sadly deficient mothers that he is screaming for help, not breasts. They are robbing him of his health, and the chance to fulfill a destiny and purpose that most certainly is connected to his gender. Being gay doesn’t make you objective. Its not some magical lifestyle that makes you more intelligent or informed than the other 99% of America. Its possible to be gay and be totally delusional. I believe that is the case for Moreno and Lobel. For them, the idea that Thomas may actually be sick is to admit that their “modern” family isn’t as picture-perfect as they would like others to believe. Be it because there is no father in the home, because they are gay, or simply because they are just regular parents like the rest of us who sometimes make mistakes with our kids, this couple is raising a confused child. Rather than admit their whole family needs help they have decided to condemn Thomas to a life of confusion in what will already be the most perplexing time of his life – puberty. The Moreno-Lobels have selfishly chosen to use their son’s pain to make a political statement. Its disgusting and disturbing and I have no doubt that when we follow up with Thomas in 20 years we will find a deeply conflicted and depressed young person, barring a miracle. A child is not a social experiment. A child is a child and should be treated as such.